Kazoos–The Weapon of Choice.


I had wanted a kazoo for doing certain character voices. I bought a metal one, which hurts my teeth. Then I found a plastic four-pack, made by Hohner, on ebay and bought it.

As I collected my kazoos from my post office box today, I also had to wait in line to mail a package to Smits. Then, in comes this guy yakking at the top of his lungs on his cell phone, making darn well sure all 26 people in line know he’s trying to decide between the Lexus or the BMW.

(I might as well note–I have no problem with people achieving high and being able to afford expensive cars.You worked hard; you earned it. But the people that give the expensive-car-folks a bad name are guys like this.)

So I’m standing there, kazoos in hand, while Yakyak Lexus BMW Guy is blabbing on behind me. And then I get an idea. I take a red kazoo out and begin to play. I try something entertaining, like “America the Beautiful”, and I start getting kind of loud. Lady and her kid in front of me burst into giggles, and Loudmouth Lexus Man behind me finally moves to another far corner of the PO to continue his conversation.

I think I wouldn’t have crossed the line into being as equally obnoxious as Yakyak Lexus BMW Guy, stooping to his level, had he not reminded the person he was speaking to that he was “a guy who lives on the edge“, and he said it in complete seriousness. It was priceless.

Anyway, I entertained some people and put a rude idiot in his place. All in a day’s work. 🙂



  1. Gawd, YES. Musical hero for a day!

    There’s nothing I hate more than people who carry on LOUD conversations on their cell phones while in public. “Lives life on the edge”…HUR.

    You make me want to carry a kazoo in my bag just for occasions like that.

  2. I bet everyone in line told their friends about their visit to the post office. 😀 Man… there’s nothing wrong with being wealthy, but there’s no reason to flaunt it.

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